Violation of integrity acquired balance and exit from the comfort zone is always a kind of pain for a person who has already penetrated in this state with their head. It feels like lying under a warm blanket, from which everybody does not want to go out into the cold.
Marriage is a kind of blanket that connects two lives, creating a total warmth for two persons. Each family can be compared with a particular ecosystem because each pair has its own, individual characteristics. Each couple creates for themselves their own life, for the most comfortable existence.
Living in this ‘ecosystem,’ the couple is accustoming to comfort and living together. So when a rift occurs, and the ecosystem collapses, it is always accompanied by pain. It is known that the right pain can be more dangerous than physical pain many times. People can try to relieve physical pain with medicines, painkillers, and other similar meds, then the only cure for right pain is time.
Divorce concept can be compared to a thunderstorm. The storm may come suddenly, instantly closing the blue sky with black clouds, and flooding all with its rain. And it can advance slowly, gradually covering the air with gray clouds, blocking the sun, painting everything in gray tones, and after all the forces are gathered, it will strike with a thunderstorm so that each person can feel how shakes their knees.
Value and Need for Marriage
Indiana has a reasonably high divorcement rate. Such a situation has developed because for today, people prefer their comfort, and they are not willing to tolerate violators, even if this is their lawful husband/wife. Almost a decade ago, people thought differently. In the first place in the minds of the population was the idea of family life, as the duty of everyone. Unmarried people considered themselves inferior under the influence of cultural pressure and promoted by the family hearth as a guarantee of happiness, regardless of the internal situation in the family.
Today, people prefer their desires. People seek to develop themselves as a personality, but not as a cell of society. However, the value of the marriage has not lost, because marriage is all the same joyful event. The once magnificent ceremonies are in the past. Modern couples prefer modesty and comfort. Marriage means consent to the creation of a new, private space, which is a comfort zone for two people. However, the more comfortable being with a beloved one, the harder it is to change habits after one’s gone.
Divorce. Pain and Healing as Medicine ‘2 in 1’
According to Indiana laws, every person has the right to decide their own life. This can be the choice of place of residence, lifestyle, as well as a life partner. The state encourages the creation of new cells in society, and also respects the wishes of its citizens and supports them in their efforts to complete an unsuccessful union. In the collection of divorce laws, the Indiana government provides for the most comfortable divorcement provisions to which each person is entitled.
However, despite the support of the Indiana government, each person is experiencing this process in its way. Divorcement affects not only the material component of a person’s life but also the mental one, exposing a person to stress and distress.
The condition of a person during the divorcement process can be divided into phases. Each stage lasts a particular time, and it depends on each person personally, as well as the efforts that the person makes to overcome the situation.
Phase of Shock
Shock is a normal reaction of every person to an unpredictable occasion. The duration of this phase is variable and depends on each person. It can last a few minutes or even months. The most frequent indicator of shock duration is about two weeks.
It is difficult to believe and accept such things when it seemed that life together was quite reasonable.
Good therapy in such a situation is to support friends or relatives. At such moments will be useful to open your inner feelings and share with those who can trust. If a person keeps sadness and resentment inside, the body quickly depletes its resources, and there is a high risk of being subjected to chronic stress.
Misery and melancholia phase
This is one of the most challenging stages when a person experiences a robust moral depression that may last within two or three months on average. At the scene of grief, the person also has to go through a court, according to the Indiana laws on divorce. The passage of the divorcement in court can be simplified, based on the conflict of the spouses. The fewer conflicts between partners arise, the quicker the divorcement process can be completed there. After issuing a certificate of divorce, one problem becomes less, and the person is subject to immersion in their pain.
A person who has lost a loved one can experience many different opposite emotions and feelings that interfere with understanding of reality. At such moments it is important to try to realize and look from the outside a situation. Attempts to analyze and revise the position from a different angle can help to understand what happened and in what period it could be not as it should.
Mixing feelings can be a reason for reducing human efficiency, and can also interfere with the adequate perception of other events and the people around. The successful completion of this stage is accompanied by the realization that the fault of divorcement does not lie on the shoulders of one spouse. The person has understood that the marriage could have been destroyed for a variety of reasons, and both spouses are to blame. Both spouses have to remember that people close to the family, as well as typical children, can worry about the divorcement. It can be joint children who are experiencing such hard events with their parents.
They cannot always correctly perceive what is happening, so parents should make it clear to the joint children that what kind of relationship developed between the spouses is not related to them. The spouses must show the children that they are still loved by both parents, regardless of who gets guardianship of the children. Despite the problematic internal state, it is essential to move on, through the pain that the divorcement process itself causes. It is hard, but with the overcoming of this level, a person will be able to see new horizons and ways by which it will be possible to build a new life according to new rules and with new people.
Phase residual effects
During the period of this phase, a person feels sadness only in those moments when events from the past arise in the memory. Memories are manifested especially vividly on specific important dates, or lonely evenings, after a stressful day, when the emotional state of a person is especially subject to sadness. For avoiding unexpected bouts of depression, it is essential to try to get rid of things that may remind of a partner, limit the time of communication with the spouse and also reduce visits to places where a lot of time was spent together.
The final stage begins after the person can sensibly be aware of and perceive the fact of divorcement. It is possible that the person will continue to experience some feeling of sadness at the mention of the former partner. However, the person’s internal state returns to normal, and the person is able to experience moments of sadness on his own adequately. Successful completion of that stage will be marked by the opportunity to look at the past situation without stabbing pain in the soul.
At the final stage, a person thinks only about how to build his future, without looking at the former partner and without hidden hopes for restoring relations. At such moments everything seems brighter despite the experience of suffering. To live through the fact of the divorcement proceedings can be correlated with a certain rebirth, both morally and in the documentary.
The person just needs to pull oneself together and not indulge their own weaknesses. Do not idle and bury oneself ahead of time, having decided that nothing good will ever happen again. Hope comes to replace heartache always, and the person can realize that exist a real life after a divorcement.
After all these stages a person can understand that there was no other way out after a particular time passes from the divorcement. The awareness that last relations were not so perfect as it seemed earlier is sobered and allows to breathe deeper and look ahead with new forces.
Although the divorcement process is the personal pain of everyone, it makes no sense to reject aid. The Indiana state made sure that this period passed as smooth as possible. With the absence of conflict, spouses can reduce the painful process to the minimum established by law in 60 days.
Divorce is not the end. It is the beginning of a new adventure and a new way to find for real happiness.